Kiss the joy as it flies, to live in eternity's sunrise

The days and, above all, the nights are getting hotter and balmier in Granada. Each and every way you turn you find more skin and more sweat and that means more cool showers and trips to the beach. Even the bugs and lizards stop by to tell you it's way too damn hot to be outside. My only option in this summer's sun is to stay out late and sleep off the heat of noon time; find a pool to sink into and this last weekend the fiesta de San Juan - a celebration that lasted all day and all night on the most beautiful beaches in Spain. (San Jose - Cabo de Gata)

diego, marina, migue, ana

Now, my weeks are filled with "goodbye" parties and one by one, each person I've grown close to this past year will return to their respective homes; places new for some and old for others. We will pick up where we left off or start anew. All with different perspectives and truths and our memories jumbled up in suitcases, backpacks, and sealed tight to never let them escape us. I have my brother's visit to look forward to, and our adventure ahead of us. The plan is Madrid, Barcelona, Paris, Bordeaux, London, Amsterdam. If I don't stay on top of things, we might just sleep through all the morning flights.

Well, unprecedentedly and just as I had imagined it, my exams are over and I can count my days left in Granada on my fingertips and with shaky hands. I knew it would happen this way, I just didn't know how. I suppose that's the one thing you never do. You can always imagine the way things will pan out; the reference point is your own (realistic, idealistic, imaginative, positive, negative). There's really infinite possibilities, but no matter how hard you try, even the best card dealer couldn't tell you which cards he'll lay down next. But damn is it a rush when you come out on top. A royal flush. Here are the faces of mine:

cómo os voy a echar de menos...

Charline

Diego

Maria

Cristy

Flor (and me)

Aaron, Aaron and I (at our fancy program dinner)

Diego and I

And introducing.. Señorito Rumba Rumbo Krathos Peligro Tolón Small

(The fifth addition to our family)

Patio Jam Session

and finally some friends and flamenco

I'm packing up all my stuff and not be able to believe where all the time has gone. Scattered in notebooks and between cracks are postcards and ticket stubs, notes and scribbled pictures; each a piece of a different story that I'll hold onto forever. There's only pasta left in the cabinets and we're out of sugar. My walls are bare just like they were when I got here but have more smudge marks and peeled-off paint. There's Rumba sleeping in my suitcase. I'm debating every other item I pull from a drawer and tying my body in knots to let loose. I look for words to express everything around me and tell people how much I love them and I draw blanks. There's too much love here and too much emotion and change. I'll start talking more about concrete things next time so that I don't spend one more hour staring at a plank computer screen. And so that I stay here right now and enjoy all that I am so damn lucky to have while it's right in front of me.

What luck. What destiny.

Much love,
Jen

rainbows and riding the lifecycle

The other day I went searching for a rainbow. Impromptu really, but compulsory. It was mostly gray out but the higher we climbed the more sunshine there was peering through the clouds and bouncing hopeful light-rays off the misty drizzle. My head was there, in the clouds, and searching in all directions for something that I felt was there but couldn't see. I think that's really where most the beauty in the world lies. We found a wall for climbing, and a ladder too, and all the signs said put down your jacket kid, it's time to get your feet wet. My feet didn't really get wet but they could have; nor did I find my rainbow where most people expect a rainbow to be. The rainbow was actually on a stick and faded from the sun. But I loved it and being with you is like watching the stars illuminate before one's dried-out eyes.

Here is where things get real for those of you who have no idea where I was going or where I went with my story. Here is where I tell you what I did I where I went and all the unforgettable things I saw. And since I'm slow on the whole updating thing it'll probably be a long one..

Well if I had to estimate (and I'm not one for mathematics or time), I'd say a good month(s) ago I decided to take myself on another adventure to visit my pal Sonya in Berlin; with no bitter cold or bitter advice from others' experiences to hold me back. Flore and I hopped on a plane and trudged in all the wrong directions to finally end up at Sonya's warm apartment with German beer and pasta awaiting us. The adventures looked something like this:

Checking out Sonya's new ride she got at a flea market:

Sonya and I singing in the snow:

more yoga (inverse of bikram):

Flore busting a move:


We went to art spaces and huddled in warm cafés, ate turkish food and slid in the snow, ate cupcakes and thai food, toured the city and got a history lesson on foot..

We met lots of spanish speakers and english speakers that found refuge in the diversity of outlets that Berlin's bustling liberal city vibes provide. Not the annoying city vibes though that have you holding onto your fanny pack through the metros of Barcelona and your eyelids waning their delicate trust. It's the city vibe that leaves you feeling small and inspired. Lost and curious to explore. And despite the freezing cold your hands are warm in good company and excitement. Oh and then I ate a German Frankfurter cause I'm cliché and open-minded and it was ridiculously good (thanks to Sonya's help). =]

(Sonya & Flore outside an outdoor market)

Well, I was safe and sound and back in Spain and before I knew it Semana Santa came whipping around the corner like an army of children on Halloween, except these kids and adults came dressed-up affiliated with another breed of fear. For me, it rang American History X and the all haters that brought us the KKK. Here, they're called Christians. Personally, I was just innocently waiting for a pizza to arrive when two hours and this unforgettable procession below my house later, I realized that not only am I not getting my pizza but what looks like a recreation of my worst nightmare is solemnly trotting down my street and I am stuck in casa without food and pretty blatantly shocked. Oddly enough, while i'm snapping photos with my mouth ajar, my Spanish roommates don't really even bat an eyelash. But then again I guess neither do I when I see the Easter bunny laying eggs. I guess we just get accustomed to our own religious traditions. Ours are just more, well, cute..
Here's record of the debauchery:



This happens all day long and all week; some processions more moving than others and a constant solemn drumming ringing throughout the city. I decided one night to go out and see one up close since I heard that it was particularly uplifting. Proved, well, otherwise..

Here's our buddy Jesus on his cross and lots of drunk people swayed from either sickness or upliftedness..

Then, in an effort to escape we somehow got planted and stuck in the middle of the whole ordeal.. With not a street to turn down or up and all the people waiting to watch all the fierce sinners under that big jesus-platform break out in a canter and truck him up into the caves of the Sacromonte.

After hiding in an alleyway for 30 minutes to avoid the fired-up religious hooligans, my roommates and I finally found an escape route to get back home and I spent most of the walk in silent shock of the paranoia that we just mounted ourselves into. More than that, I can't really explain exactly how any of this succeeded nor really exactly how I felt at any given moment. Just for future reference: 1.) if anyone tells you Spain is no longer a catholic state don't listen to them. 2.) If you find yourself in or around or even close to a religious procession a) don't follow it (neither behind or especially in front) and b) don't drink more either.

Then, to further escape the ridiculousness of Semana Santa, my friend Aaron and I decided to take a trip back to hit the beaches of Barcelona that proved to be more wet than the sunny beach weather I had expected (and my cold didn't thank me). However, escaping anywhere is always an adventure and Aaron luckily got to pull in a few skate sessions while we were there.



(mad skills)


Nowadays, I'm every day enjoying every moment as most as I can. Although I can't feel time, I watch it swim past me in quick shutter speeds and turned pages on calenders. When there's no more pages to turn and all the fruit on the counter goes bad I'll finally know that I have to go back. But not because I'm missing burritos or my California-payed education, but because there's a ticket and an expiration date waiting for me. Your life, you then realize doesn't have a point on a map. And although your family occupies a space on that map, it's not always your home. Your family and your home you can create anywhere. I don't know how I fell into things the way I did but I think it's because I always carry my heart and soul with me wherever I go. And put all of them into whatever I'm doing.

The rest of my stories are daily and like almost all of our thoughts: repeat and repeat and repeat. Hopefully I can squeeze a few more of these out before I'm suddenly next to one of you and then our stories will unfold from memories. And then here's to hoping that none of this is a chunk of memories but a part of me and you.

Ginkgo leaves are growing again on all the trees on Gran Via and they tell me Spring is here. It reminds me of all the trees outside my old place in Santa Cruz and how soon they will get bigger and change colors just like they do back home..

happy spring and happy lifecycle to all.

love,
jen

It seems as though receiving news from home often comes needing to have a preface of the passage of time in mind. Prepare yourself for the worst. We take this caution and knowledge of the shortness and uncertainty of life when dealing with losses. Lost jobs and lost loved ones. Lost dogs, lost balances, and minds, and everything in between. The preparedness usually gives way to grievance, sadness, and then toward a more positive perspective if we are large enough to manifest it.

There's a saying in Spanish that goes, "no hay mal que por bien no venga." And if we open our eyes wide enough, we'll see that there are always good/positive things coming out of the negative/bad. I see this in the eyes of our president, with hopes of rebirthing "the better angels of our nature". In the sleepy and newborn eyelids of my new baby sister. The sun that showed her teeth just for a moment today amongst the usual looming clouds. Everything, everything must have two sides.

And the side to this story always has myriad turns too. Most recently, I'm keeping fairly occupied studying for my finals that the university so unreasonably likes to spread over a stretch of almost a month. Long enough to leave me time for a trip to Córdoba to interview some Sephardic Jews for my Anthropology of religion class, sign myself up for a Spanish guitar class, and do various spurts of study sessions commingled with various mingling and hour long coffee breaks.

Well, before all this perspiring, I'll share with you how went my winter break. It wasn't full of putting up Christmas lights or decorating trees, nor lighting menorahs or visiting with family. Not a mom's popovers or pumpkin pie in sight. This one took place in Spain and Portugal. And although the terrain was unfamiliar at best, the sensation of good close companionship is never far out of reach.

Tashy came to visit in Granada first, where we spent a splendor of a week fitting all our puzzle pieces back together in the easiest of ways. It was like playing games made for ages 3+ and before dawn we were rolling under memories and news and laughter over tapas+cerveza like schoolkids.




Then off to Sevilla. We packed our bags and left our baggage behind. Aaron Casey, Aaron Shapiro, Sonya, Tashy, and myself (insert between aaron & sonya):

Sevilla was great. We spent Christmas wandering around empty streets with baby Jesus' everywhere and not a place to go. While we were a majority of Jewish ethnicity, this was nothing new to some. However I had much to miss. With already an nontraditional undertone of the sunny Christmas day, we played it up. Spent the day walking along the Guadalquivir river,

secretly buying each other futile and fruitful gifts,

and ended the night in a boom of bruchetta, an italian pasta feast and bottomless wine to boot. Safe to say that although it was hard sans all of you (fam), it was an original and equally warm festivity. Well from there, after the sad farewell to my bestie, we headed to Portugal, driven by only the beast of all beasts, our true friend, Panda:


Panda brought us through the marshy/wetlands of the empty beachfront in Tavira and Faro...


...Through the ancient city walls of Evora and its neighboring town Guadalupe; where we discovered giant neolithic megaliths, cork trees, grazing animals, and all sorts of hidden treasures

some megalithic yoga..

and a crazy bone church (kid you not)

..and then finally, Panda brought us to Lisbon. The life-force of Portugal. Where we discovered what was reminiscent of of a European San Francisco in all it's hilly, golden gate, friendly danger lived-in sort of glory.

With a little luck of a panda, and Sonya's mad stick-shift driving skills, we made it safe and sound back to Granada. With all our faculties intact, and little pieces of our adventures left trickling down the highways and cities of portugal and spain. And under my belt a grand New Years in Lisbon filled with all you can eat sushi buffet and fireworks on the port.

Well with all this extra given time to "study", the distractions look something like this:

butt-sliding in the Sierras (30 minutes from home)

AND, my new beautiful guitar, gracias a los reyes magos (a.k.a. Santa) (a.k.a. my buddy Diego)

With said time, we (Diego and I) have taken to flamenco guitar classes. Which is amazing and challenging.. and a band of amateur flamenco guitarists accompanied by our new flamenco dancing roommate (Maria) is in the works..

Enough said, while you all are enjoying your constant 70 degree and sunshiny weather, I'm stuck in the cold rain with the rest of Europe in Winter. Despite popular west cost American belief, Winter is in fact a season. And it bites especially in the morning and at night. However, I am withholding my jealousy because I am playing flamenco guitar in Spain. And I walk to school on cobblestone streets. And here there are separate worlds within hiking distances. And sometimes, after a long day of speaking solely Spanish my brain tends to collapse inward. And often, my life seems quite surreal as if I've dreamt it up entirely.

To your lives being waking dreams
And to full rounded positivity

Well, to get these good vibes a kickin, here's Cat with some words of advice:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ha3Rm4MSX-g

much love,
jen

PS.

I also invite you to check out more pictures on my Picasa:
http://picasaweb.google.com/llamsnej